Karla’s Korner

Fences: Opening Up and Reaching Out

I love country music, NASCAR and life in a small town. I grew up on a small poultry farm in rural Virginia. We had our own cow that my daddy milked by hand every day. We drank that milk without any processing other than straining it through a cheese cloth into a jar. We made ice cream, ate fresh eggs from the chickens on the farm, raised pigs, processed our own beef, pork and chicken. We made homemade apple butter, canned vegetables from our garden and often times wore homemade clothes. We washed those homemade clothes and hung them outside on a line to dry. We had chores and responsibilities every day and we did them without complaint (well not much complaint). I used to think that I couldn’t wait to get out of that small town, and at the age of 21, I got married and moved away. That was 25 years ago. Over the past 25 years my husband and I have moved around due to his job and most of the time we have lived in small communities.

Recently I pulled out a Jason Aldean CD that I had buried in the console of my car. One of my favorite songs is “Church Pew or Bar Stool” (I’ve actually written about this song before but felt compelled to re-visit my thoughts from back then.) Aldean sings about two kinds of salvation in the small town he is living in; the whiskey or the Bible; you have to choose. He sings in the chorus that “when you don’t seem to live on either side of the fence people act like you don’t make sense”. All too often in life we are judged by what we do, who we spend time with, where we live, what kind of car we drive, etc. I continue to question and wonder why any of that matters. What does it really matter what religion I am, what kind of music I listen to, what kind of car I drive or whether I spend my time at a NASCAR race in a museum, at a baseball game, at home or in church? No one particular thing makes us who we are. What makes a whole person is a lot of little things seemingly stitched together to make us unique.

I teach Christian preschool, but does that mean that I can’t listen to my country music? Does that mean that I can’t go to a NASCAR race, tailgate with my husband, family and friends and cheer on my favorite driver? Does it mean that I can’t frequent certain restaurants, or be friends with people with different backgrounds or beliefs? No; it means that we are all unique and separate from others. Sometimes when I get in my car to go to work or leave work for the day I crank up my radio and let the music fill up every inch of space in my brain. It’s just a part of me.

The song refers to a fence and what side we find ourselves on. Fences, I believe are built for two reasons; to keep something in or keep something out. Fences divide and separate people from one another. There are so many things in today’s world that divide or separate and instill in us the need to be set apart. What we need to keep in mind is that when fences are built we lose intimate, personal contact with those around us. We set ourselves apart, and by doing so, we may miss out on something or someone wonderful. As a little girl growing up in the country, we had fences for the animals, but not for ourselves. We never locked our cars, we left our bikes out on the front porch, we slept with the windows open and if we forgot to lock the house when we left, well that was o.k. too. We trusted and were trusted. If we needed something we borrowed it from a neighbor. We knew our neighbors and they knew us. Life was simple. While I don’t advocate leaving our cars and homes unlocked, I would suggest trying to tear down some of the fences we’ve built in our lives allowing us to open up, reach out, help, hold a hand, say a prayer or just sit and listen.

I encourage you to examine the fences you’ve built in your life. Are those fences keeping people out or in? Are your fences there to protect you from something or someone? Sometimes it’s necessary to build fences to maintain boundaries to keep us safe and protected but other times fences don’t allow us to interact with others on a deep personal intimate level. I wonder if we kept our fences up and added a gate for others to come into our life yard and share in fellowship that we would in fact have the best of both worlds; privacy and company. Are you able to tear down the fences in your life and if not ask yourself why? What is it that keeps you within the confines of the fence?

I am proud to introduce a new column to Madame Deals! I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!

Read more Karla’s Korner , also please visit Karla’s Lifetime Moms page and read her articles.

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