Life of Being Married to a Cop

With so much happening in this world recently, I just wanted to vent a little bit and share my thoughts about being married to a cop. I have had some intense arguments and discussions on social media since the shooting of Michael Brown and then again when the NY police officers were shot and killed.

First off, my husband has been a state trooper for over three years now. This is something he has always wanted to do. I really still do not understand why exactly because I know I could NOT do it. Though many times when I see someone texting and driving or run through a red light and cut me off, I wish I could write them a ticket. But now knowing all that they do, I wouldn’t want their job. I will be completely honest, I thought they would just write everything and anything to make a quota or whatever. Then you see movies or watch tv, and they just sit around eating donuts being lazy. That is far from the truth, and my husband to this day won’t eat a donut because of that stereotype. My husband went through a year-long application, background test, physical test, etc. to become a state trooper. Which is good. They don’t hire crazy people; they have a test for that! I am not saying that every officer is good, though. But seriously, after he was accepted, he had to move away for nine months to be trained. When he was allowed to call me the stories he told me about how he was treated was insane. But they were preparing him for his job. The one thing I remember him saying to me though is that they train them all to make sure they get home at the end of each shift as well. Which wasn’t so clear to me until his first fight on the job. One night my husband pulled over a vehicle that was all over the road. The driver and passenger were both drunk and had drugs in their system. Long story short, they both tried to fight my husband because they didn’t want to go to jail. Thankfully, my husband wasn’t hurt, and neither were the two idiots who decided to drink and drive. Regardless my husband did have to force them to the ground and cuff them to arrest them. He was trained on how to do all that all by himself with no backup. If we didn’t have police out on the roads, if he had not pulled them over they could have seriously injured someone or even themselves. I absolutely hate hearing people say we don’t need police. One night I will never forget, it was within the first few months he just started his job. He was supposed to be home around 11 pm. Usually I get a call from him sometime that evening when he takes his dinner break, but that day I didn’t. He didn’t answer my calls, and the text messages I sent him said it was delivered but not read. He keeps his cell phone on him in case his radio doesn’t work for whatever reason. I didn’t think to much of it knowing that he was working and was probably just busy til the 6 o’clock news comes on, and I see that there was a shooting. A man killed his girlfriend, then went to his home and was threatening to kill anyone who came near his house. The news clearly showed my husbands police car at this mans house. Still no answer or messages back. Then I hear on the news that shoots were fired by both the crazy man and officers. Finally, around 1 am I get a call from my husbands phone, and he is ok. The man was arrested, and no one was hurt. Seriously for 7 hours I could not have thought of anything else. I thought about the last conversation I had with him. I tried to remember if we kissed goodbye. I tried to stay calm enough to not over think the worst and think if my children would see their dad again. I learned a lot from that experience, though. Before he leaves for work each morning or night, I make sure I do kiss him goodbye because that is exactly what it is for me each time he leaves for work, a goodbye. We were taught growing up not to go to bed angry well; I make it a rule now as well not to let him go to work upset either. I couldn’t live with myself if he left angry or upset, and he wasn’t thinking clearly because of an argument that we had. And each time he comes through that door, I thank the Lord that he blessed us with another day together!

One thing that makes me so upset is, no one is perfect. I am sure there are officers out there that aren’t perfect; they make mistakes because they are human like us. But to assume that all officers are bad is stupid. I read how a Mexican fast food chain refused service to police officers when they walked in and put their hands up. That made me furious. Do you Seriously not realize that they protect your streets, your house, they save lives every single day, and they put their life on the line every single day! When you get a ticket for speeding, they are not trying to make a quota they are trying to slow you down and help you realize that the STATE make the laws, and you are the one breaking them. Or when you drink and drive, and you get arrested they are doing that because you could have killed someone or yourself. If you die because you made a stupid decision, you are not the one that has to go to your family and explain why you will never come home again. They do that! I think the worst scene that I can recall him telling me was when an entire family was killed three children and both mother and father because they decided not to buckle the kids or themselves, and someone hit them. I always wear my seatbelt, and I know my friends think I am crazy, but everyone in MY car will be buckled before I drive them anywhere. I don’t care how old they are. Its called a safety belt for a REASON!

So yes, we all are not guaranteed another day, but with his job his risks are much higher. I know that he loves his job, so I try not to complain or worry to much. I just have to put my trust and faith in God. But, still I am human and when I don’t hear from my husband when I know he is off duty, I instantly worry. I cherish each moment we have together and take more photos now then I ever have. If you are married or have a loved one who is an officer, thank him or her for me.

Also read:

Karla’s Korner: Marriage and Friendship
My Advice for a Successful Relationship
How I married my sugar daddy