Karla’s Korner: My Weirdos…My Tribe

My Weirdos…My Tribe

An old African proverb states “It takes a village to raise a child” and I believe that our village has become a more important and necessary element in today’s world than ever before. Living in an information saturated, fast-paced world our children are faced with a vast array of difficult challenges as well as fantastic opportunities. Finding our way through the parenthood pathway can be a daunting, often scary undertaking; it requires support from our “village”. We must face the fact that we cannot do this parenting thing alone successfully.

But what about adults? Do we need a village? Can we survive adulthood alone? Can we make our own way without guidance, nurturing support from other adults? Do we have the ability to figure it all out without any outside help? No, I don’t think we can do it alone and recognizing that is the first step in the process. When we become parents it seems that everyone has an opinion on how we should do things. Everybody becomes an expert in the field of parenthood but somewhere along the way as our children get older (and we do too) we often find ourselves searching for answers to bigger questions; questions about our own lives, the direction our life is taking us and just how we go about getting to where we need to be on our life journey. I like to think that instead of our village no longer being interested in us that everybody else is searching for answers too. Life, I think is all about the search, the journey and not so much the destination. A friend once shared with me that when his kids were younger they seemed to enjoy the road trips on their way to vacation as much if not more than the destination. There’s an excitement about going somewhere as the anticipation builds but when we reach our destination the excitement dwindles a bit. There’s no more waiting; we have arrived. That’s not to say that we can’t have fun when we get there, it’s just that we are there and the anticipation is over.

The idea of adults needing a village, or a tribe, can be interpreted in several ways. Admitting that we need help can feel like defeat. So instead of reaching out to their village they retreat and struggle silently. As a writer I have an electronic file filled with quotes; some from famous people and some from members of my tribe. One such quote comes from “Anonymous” (I really wish I knew who wrote this): “When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of ‘me too!’ be sure to cherish them because those weirdos are your tribe.” We all need a tribe; we all need someone to be there for us in times of weakness, sadness, struggle, celebration and contemplation. We need to be loved, supported, lifted up and celebrated. We also need to love, support, lift up and celebrate others as well. We need our tribe, our weirdos if you will, to keep us going down.

Every morning I spend time in spiritual meditation. I read several devotions, listen to praise and worship music and I pray. For me it’s a perfect way to begin my days; alone, quiet with my thoughts and with my God. After my quiet time I email a devotion to a friend; a member of my tribe for about a year and a half. It’s a meaningful way to connect, support and recognize our friendship and in turn I often receive a message back. As tribe members we must be able to give and receive that support. Recognizing the fact that our tribe must contain a wide variety of people and that not all of our tribe members need to be connected to one another rather the connection is between you and each of them. As I have battled food addiction on the journey to health and wellness I have been blessed to become part of a unique group of people; my “mini-tribe”. My “mini-tribe” is folks who have become supportive of one another in their quest to conquer various health and wellness goals. We come from various walks of life sharing our goals, fears, insecurities and our victories together. There is no judgement in our tribe as we all understand that our battles are real and we’ve been beat up enough by them. Without my “mini-tribe” I could still do the work, but with them I find that I am able to push harder and if I fall they are always there to soften the landing. We hold one another up and we hold one another accountable.

I encourage you to create your own tribe. Surround yourself with people who will be true to you, to themselves and to the journey of life. Accept the fact that you cannot be a tribe of one. Seek to find your weirdos, embrace them, love them, support them and take hold of the good and the not so good pieces of your life puzzle. Sometimes it takes a second pair of eyes to find the piece that fits next. Author and film maker Srividya Srinivasan sums it up perfectly when she wrote “You are truly home only when you find your tribe”. Find your tribe. Find your home.

Peace,
Karla

I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!

Read more Karla’s Korner, also please visit Karla’s Lifetime Moms page and read her articles.

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