Karla’s Korner: Scars, Scuff Marks and Imperfections

Karla’s Korner: Scars, Scuff Marks and Imperfections

Scars, Scuff Marks and Imperfections

As a preschool teacher I am constantly wiping things; faces, noses, hands, bottoms. In my arsenal of wiping tools I have a magic eraser. As I stood over the bright yellow table in my room the other day scrubbing black crayon marks left behind by an enthusiastic three year old who missed the paper a time or two, I found myself thinking about how easy the eraser makes it to remove the crayon and restore the table to bright sunshiny yellow and how nice it would be to have a magic eraser for our hearts to erase the scuff marks left behind from hurts, self-inflicted pains, broken dreams and relationships. How wonderful it would be to be free and clear of all of the marks and imperfections; or would it? Would life be better if there were no scuff marks? Would it be better if we erased it all and had perfection in all aspects of our lives? I believe we need these things to provide us with life lessons, an appreciation of the good stuff, humility, compassion and a deep sense of love of self and others.

In a recent conversation with a friend about (me) having surgery to remove the leftover “junk” from my weight loss I was asked if I was going to have any other “things lifted or tucked”. As I chuckled my answer was quick and concise; “no, I only want the leftovers removed everything else will stay where it has fallen.” This led to a conversation of the dramatic after effects of weight loss including stretch mark scars, floppy arms and wiggly thighs. My coach believes that most of the wiggly jiggly stuff will tighten up a bit with exercise; if it doesn’t that’s okay. The stretch mark scars will serve as a reminder of what used to be and how far I’ve come. They are part of who I am telling my story, a roadmap of sort. I’ve discovered that the body has an amazing way of healing or recovering from abuse and if not recovering adapting to the changes. Scars, scuffs and imperfections, both physical and emotional are the ingredients of character, wisdom, and true caring. Scars are the evidence of healed damage. We all know that damaged areas that heal are stronger than before; just like bones.

Quite often we dwell on the difficult events of our lives wondering “why me?” as if we should be excluded from bad things happening. We need to learn how to deal with and learn from disappointments and difficulties in order to grow and mature our minds and spirits. These learning experiences begin early in our lives through first loves, loosing friends, experiencing some form of bullying or prejudice; all of these things prepare us for life and teaches us lessons at a young age before we are out on our own. Childhood I think is our dress rehearsal while adulthood is show time, the time when we can pull from those early lessons and move through the tough times a bit easier.

Once in a while, however, something happens in our adult lives that we are not prepared for; much like getting a new script and having to learn our lines as we go. Nineteen years ago on a sunny Tuesday afternoon (3/19/1996) life threw my husband and me a new script. In the flip of the switch on an ultrasound monitor our hopes for the baby I was carrying were gone. Filled with a grief so deep we worked to keep life normal for our then two year old little girl and move on; I never fully let go. I never allowed myself to learn any lessons from that pain and grief until nearly 18 years had passed. In sharing my story with a friend remembering that sad day and the grief I was holding onto he said to me “So, you were the vessel for an angel; makes you pretty special I would say.” It was at that moment I was able to look at the scars and scuff marks on my heart and appreciate the lessons I’ve learned from that loss. You see my baby never had to deal with the worries of the world. She never experienced sadness, hurt, fear or cried a tear. My faith tells me that she and I will be reunited in Heaven; the scars have in deed made my heart stronger.

Embracing our scars, scuffs and imperfections as a necessary part of life I believe will not only make life richer but more meaningful and fulfilling. I encourage you to embrace your scars, the ones that are visible (physical) and those that are etched on your heart. Allowing grief, anger, disappointment and sadness to reside long enough to become a valuable lesson will I believe enhance life and give us a clearer vision of life in the present looking toward the future. Stop trying to erase the scuffs and scars; when you do you will be more content and wind up needing fewer erasers.

Peace,
Karla

I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!

Read more Karla’s Korner, also please visit Karla’s Lifetime Moms page and read her articles.

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