Karla’s Korner – Being Vulnerable: Living with Our Hearts Wide Open

Being Vulnerable: Living with our hearts wide open

This week it seemed as if my inbox, social media newsfeed and conversations were filled with the idea that vulnerability is a good thing. As much as I tried to shove this topic aside, I finally gave in and took a dive deep into thought, prayer, conversation and little online research. What I found was a wealth of information that not only clarified but solidified the idea that vulnerability, while complex is a necessary element of life. I believe that vulnerability is one of the richest, most deep rooted, soul awakening things we can embrace.

The word vulnerable is of Latin origin coming from the root word vulnus which means “wound”. According to several online dictionaries it is defined from its literal meaning and is more often used for someone who is easily hurt or likely to succumb to temptation. It’s also used to describe a person whose feelings are delicate that they cannot handle criticism or pressure. There is a sense of guilt, shame and fear associated with vulnerability.

American scholar, author, and public speaker Dr. Brené Brown has spent many years researching human connection and our ability to empathize, belong and love. In June 2010 Dr. Brown spoke in Houston at a TED Talk titled “The Power of Vulnerability” where she shared that “the core of vulnerability is shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it is also the birth place of joy and creativity.” With a deep desire to understand I found myself re-playing her talk several times, stopping to take notes, to think and let her ideas settle in my mind. Dr. Brown was conveying a message that up until now made no sense to me. Isn’t it better to build a wall around ourselves that doesn’t allow hurt, hate and heart ache in? Isn’t it wise to protect ourselves from those who inflict negativity and pain in our lives? Wouldn’t we be better off if we locked up our hearts and kept them safe and less vulnerable? For me the answer is “no” by hiding behind a wall, isolating ourselves in order to remain safe we will miss out on so much joy, love and happiness. We will miss out on the life we are intended to live.

According to Dr. Brown one of the most frequent methods of dealing with vulnerability is numbing ourselves; we build walls around our hearts to lock out the hurt. When we do this we also lock out joy, gratitude, happiness and love. Contemporary Japanese writer Haruki Murakami wrote “What happens when people open their hearts? “They get better.” Allowing ourselves complete vulnerability will I believe provide us with the opportunity to have a greater sense of joy, great happiness and a love so deep that it fills in the cracks caused by hurt and sadness. You see, by exposing ourselves to the tough stuff, the hurtful stuff we are able to appreciate the good stuff and develop a great sense of inner peace, a deeper love and gratitude. We will find ourselves grateful for the difficulties because we will learn from them.

Keeping in mind that there are no guarantees and that hurt, heart ache and disappointment are inevitable it is necessary to go through the storms of life in order to see the rainbow on the other side. I was once asked if I had any regrets about my past including relationships, jobs, life decisions. While I find myself wondering “what if” once in a while regarding the past I realize that in order for me to be the person I am today I had to go through the tough stuff. In order to have a heart that loves and accepts the indifferences in life it is necessary to face challenges that cause us to question our faith, beliefs and values. Because of those challenges and difficult decisions I experienced I am able to appreciate the journey, learn important life lessons and develop deep meaningful loving relationships that not only bring me great joy but gives joy to others as well. Embracing vulnerability requires faith that even though sometimes the results will be difficult to endure living our life with our hearts wide open will allow space for deep love, great joy and gratefulness for the experiences.

Brazilian lyricist and novelist Paulo Coelho wrote “The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility.” To love and be loved completely requires a willingness to take chances, to give and not expect anything in return and to appreciate the vulnerability it requires to do it. I believe it is necessary to embrace vulnerability because it is where you will ultimately find your strength. Open yourself up to the scary stuff, the stuff that requires you to trust and be trusted. It’s difficult yet simple; be present, be brave, be joyful, be grateful and above all be vulnerable.

Peace,
Karla

I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!

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